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RIP Crappy School Lunches, or: Six Legendary Cafeteria Menu Items

A farewell to childhood.
A farewell to childhood.
Flickr user john.murden

It's the end of an era. 


The Los Angeles Unified School District Board of Trustees has banned flavored milk in school cafeterias, and corn dogs and chicken nuggets are also off the menus. Who knows what's next? No word on whether OC schools are next to dump these kiddie lunch standards, but you can only bet a similar move is on its way.    
 
It's a positive decision--the stuff plopped onto those Styrofoam trays (which may also be dunzo) is stomach-churning, but we ate all that crap as kids and I, for one, have fond memories of at least some of it. 

For the sake of nostalgia, here are some foods that made up my childhood lunch hour, ranked from grossest to least gross totally awesome. Join in the mourning by adding your own school cafeteria memories in the comments. 
RIP Crappy School Lunches, or: Six Legendary Cafeteria Menu Items
I Miss Chalupa Day in the School Cafeteria


Oh, the chalupa. The only redeeming thing about Chalupa Day was saying the word "chalupa." The one I remember looks a lot like the photo--a scary slab of dry-as-dirt refried beans, crumbly mystery meat, some rubbery cheese, all plastered on a massive amorphous tortilla chip. At least 20 people disagree with me on this one, according to the I Miss Chalupa Day In The School Cafeteria Facebook Page, but I still believe that the thing had more value as a Frisbee.  


2. Chicken Patty
RIP Crappy School Lunches, or: Six Legendary Cafeteria Menu Items
Team Taco Boat or Team Chicken Patty Facebook Page

Chicken Patty Day was always met with an in-unison groan. There was nothing exciting about a dry patty atop an even drier bun. However, this dish helped me learn the value of the ketchup packet. 


3. Rectangular Pizza
RIP Crappy School Lunches, or: Six Legendary Cafeteria Menu Items

Right-angled pizza and cafeteria trays just make good geometric sense. As for the pizza itself--well, you know what they say about pizza. When it's good, it's really good. And when it's bad? Hey, it's still pretty good! 


5. Taco Boat 
RIP Crappy School Lunches, or: Six Legendary Cafeteria Menu Items
Team Taco Boat or Team Chicken Patty Facebook Page

I loved taco boats. It was pretty much a tostada with meat, cheese, lettuce and taco sauce, but it was called a boat. Boats are cool. 


6. Frito Chili Pie
RIP Crappy School Lunches, or: Six Legendary Cafeteria Menu Items
Flickr user tofutti break


Ah, so this is why we're fat.

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