The survey from the "burgundy bible" rates this duo the best fast-food coffee and most popular fast-food mega-chain, respectively.
Which makes me wonder if the reviewers--more than 6,000 of them, who visited more than 100 chains across the country--are living in a parallel universe. One in which Starbucks' coffee actually tastes of coffee, and Subway's so-called sandwiches aren't made of plastic meat and ersatz bread.
Other results are easier to swallow: Irvine's own In-N-Out Burger took the top spot for fast-food burgers, and Cheesecake Factory scooped the award for best desserts in a full-service chain.
As for best full-service chain (Edwin, look away now)? PF Chang's.
Admittedly, a few "outtakes" from this new report did raise a chuckle, such as:
"Avoid this restaurant like the plague, which you might be able to catch at a few of its locations"... Gee, wonder why that one didn't make the final cut?
But there are some real howlers in there too--metaphors that are cheesier than Johnny Hallyday at a Camembert convention (help, I'm lapsing into Zagat-ese!):
"Steak as tough as a longshoreman"
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"Noisier than an engine room on a tramp freighter"
"Service blows harder than a Kansas tornado"
For the full survey, CLICK HERE.