God (or your choice of deities reviewed by the OCeeker) bless whichever faceless Yelper first pointed out G Burger to the hungry, clawing masses. May your Yelp reviews be read by Morgan "God" Freeman as part of the Real Actors Reading Yelp Reviews series. And damn you, La Habra, damn you for being so freeway-inconvenient. Stay that way, though; after this feature is finished, I'm going to be one crispy French fry away from needing to use a freight scale, and it's a good thing G Burger isn't in my backyard.
But what about the burger? First of all, don't get avocado unless you get bacon, and don't get bacon unless you get avocado. Unseasoned avocado can suck all the flavor out of a burger, and bacon can overwhelm it. Together, they're a match made in caloric, nitrite-laden heaven. Second, rip those sexy strips of bacon apart and stack them on the burger so you're not biting the bacon fuse on the way to the meal. Third... Moses' sweet fancy manna dip, I inhaled that burger so fast other people looked on in amazement. (At least I think it was amazement.) The burger, huge and cooked absolutely the way I wanted it; the bun, strong enough to hold up the toppings. Yuppie lettuce that didn't distract from the ensemble with bitterness, ripe tomatoes (it is August, after all), onions with enough heft to punch through everything. This is the archetypal American hamburger.
Umami is not exactly some Yelp find. There are three locations within Orange County, and I'm sure we haven't seen the end of the orangeward expansion of the chain; frankly it's a good thing, a bullet in the eye of some of the less worthy hood-burger joints. They're next to a brewery, too (or the Anaheim location is, and since I live walking distance from there, I see no reason to darken the doorsteps of the other locations). That's nice. You can take your burger and eat it next door.
The burger was quite tasty, too. The bun was fine (though I can taste the char where that U gets burned in--is it really worth it, guys?), the toppings tasty and balanced, the lettuce that perfect marriage of leafy and crunchy, but the meat was so soft it got lost in the mix. I'm not sure I tasted much from the meat besides a vague soupçon de fancy boeuf. (That's a technical term.) Don't get me wrong, it still tasted amazing, but it's the burger in question here.
Hot-damn perfection or way closer and really almost as good? Sorry, Umami. Don't be mad.
Winner, and advancing to the Final Four: G Burger.
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- Round One: Fast Food Fiefdoms
- Round One: Dominion of Diners
- Round One: Gastropub Gentry
- Round One: Burger Barons
- Round Two: Fast Food Fiefdoms
- Round Two: Dominion of Diners
- Round Two: Gastropub Gentry
- Round Two: Burger Barons