Further Proof We Live in the End Times: Man Suffers Head Injuries from Drive-By Pumpkin Attack
From Tanaka Farms, wholly wholesome
To me, pumpkins are so innocuous, so joy- (and seed-) filled that I had never thought of using a pumpkin as a weapon. Oh, sure, the petrified stem cut probably smash a hole through wood, and the average Halloween pumpkin is so damn big that having it fall on your foot will leave a bruise. And I'm well aware of catapulting pumpkins to see how far they could fly before exploding into guts and pulp.
But what twisted mind would heave a pumpkin from a car to hit a middle-aged man? Drive-by pumpkin attack? Sounds like something from Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Scary Story Hood.
Yet that's exactly what happened in the Pittsburgh area.
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