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Five Valentine's Day Food Gifts That Probably Won't Get You Laid

Five Valentine's Day Food Gifts That Probably Won't Get You Laid
Uncommon Goods
​Guys, if your gal is the type who's into Valentine's Day, have you gotten her anything yet? (Pssst, it's tomorrow.) I can't tell you what gifts will guarantee you'll get some lovin' (though you can't go wrong with a tiara). I can, however, offer you five food-related gifts that don't exactly scream romance, unless she has a twisted sense of humor, which in that case, go you!   

1. Chocolate-Dipped Fruit Shaped Like Beetle Larvae 
 
Five Valentine's Day Food Gifts That Probably Won't Get You Laid

Unless, of course, she's a entomologist. About US$3 at Japan company Komatuya.  


2. Bacon Lube 

Five Valentine's Day Food Gifts That Probably Won't Get You Laid
J&D's

Okay, maaaaybe this is an awesome Valentine's gift. I really can't decide. $11.99 at J&D's.

3. Brief Jerky 
Five Valentine's Day Food Gifts That Probably Won't Get You Laid
Instructables.com
​​There's something about the ingredient list to these DIY meat panties that makes me squirm. Not sure if it's the hot sauce, chili flakes or liquid smoke. Owwwww. Tutorial at Instructables.com. Via Foodbeast.

4. A Vodka Bottle Programmed To Say, "Let's Drink and Have Sex!"  

Five Valentine's Day Food Gifts That Probably Won't Get You Laid
Medea


5. A Chocolate Scale 
Five Valentine's Day Food Gifts That Probably Won't Get You Laid
Uncommon Goods


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