Five Politically Active College-Student Types and the Alcohol They Drink

With a college pub as great as the Anthill, you're bound to meet some drunk people every once in awhile. Some of them can be pretty cool. Others cans be super opinionated. Hilariously, people share both similar opinions and favorite drinks.
]

5. The One Who Thinks that Election Day is in June

Wait, the president race wasn't between Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney? If it wasn't for Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, this guy wouldn't even know it was an election year. He thinks the reason Bill Clinton was impeached was because he got a blowjob, not because he lied about it. When the news is on, stops paying attention immediately and grabs another drink.

He's grabbing…

The first thing he finds in the fridge


He's the sort of person who will drink anything without realizing what it is. One day you'll swear he has great taste when he grabs your Pliny out of the fridge, promising to replace it only to find out he's an idiot when he brings you a can of Foster's the day after.

4. The One Who Registered Only To Vote for Obama
 

They all swore that they'd be politically active. The entire dorm registered to vote together. Everyone walked over together to the polls together. When Obama won, half of them almost died from alcohol poisoning. When they all moved? They forgot to change their registration address.

They drink…

Coors Light, Bud Light, whatever is on sale


Like voting only to say that they voted, they drink only to say that they drink. Is there any conscious thought behind their choices? Not really. They'd rather be shotgunning and beerbonging than making enjoying their drinks, much like their penchant to vote only when everyone else is doing it.

[3. The One Who Just Took An Intro To Poli Sci Course

He's proud of his bookshelf, despite the fact that the only things there are Marx, Rousseau and Machiavelli. Everything would be okay if he were running the country. He's going to a top-tier law school, totally. Quick to argue, he thinks the country is going to collapse tomorrow. What does he drink?

Blue Moon


He thinks he's a beer snob. He rolls his eyes when people show up to a party with a thirty rack of pong beer just like when someone mentions Keynesian economics. He brings oranges to every party. He also doesn't realize he's drinking a MillerCoors beer.

2. The College Republican
 

They had a Rush Week. What were the events? Traditional Marriage and Family Values Day. Fertilized Eggs are Precious Day. Yay for Capitalism Day.

What did they serve?

Cheap Red Wine


Did they know why? No idea! But that's what their parents drink and they swear that it's supposed to be good for your heart.

1. The One Who Reads Ayn Rand

They want to go back to the gold standard. They think they're better than you. They took Atlas Shrugged way too close to home. They like personal freedom, which is great, but that's all they care about, which is not the best thing. They also kind of smell funny.

They drink…

Plastic bottle vodka


When you're already drunk, it sounds like a great idea. But, trust me, it's only going to leave you with a horrible hangover in the morning.

Follow Stick a Fork In It on Twitter @ocweeklyfood or on Facebook! And don't forget to download our free Best Of App here!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *