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Five Cray Cray Finds At SF's Winter Fancy Food Fest

Food with its own soundtrack. Kinda makes us feel dirty....
Food with its own soundtrack. Kinda makes us feel dirty....

When we were talked into attending the Winter Fancy Food Fest in the Bay Area, we anticipated some hoity-toity finds. What we didn't count on was eccentric bites reminiscent of those Truly Tasteless Jokes books. Don't get us wrong-- they're all legit products. We just think creative fell more than thought outside of the box.

Here's what caught our attention and made us go WTF. Remember: Cray cray is in the eye of the beholder.

5. Fartless Factory

Created for the gas we pass
Created for the gas we pass

The class equivalent of a whoopee cushion, these products were created out of necessity. Their story, as told by The Old Fart, stems from an annual pheasant hunt attended by friends. Homemade chili (with beans grown on the farm) caused a stir for many who consumed. As a result, they concocted pinto beans that worked so well, Fartless debuted in the mid-80s. Obviously going strong, their line extends to candy logs, salsa and even beer bread. Kudos for calling it like they see it. #nofilter

4. Wasabi Sauce

Screams annoying Budweiser commercial
Screams annoying Budweiser commercial

We can't place our finger on exactly why this annoys us so much. Could it remind us of the novice sushi eater's ignorance on using wasabi sparingly? Perhaps it's the notion that more often than not, your average eater is like a heat-seeking missile, and will go cray cray over a new spicy, green sauce. Nah, it's the possibility that wasabi sauce will bring back the "Wassup/Wassabi!" tagline, and urge us to bitch slap the next person to utter it. Oh, Kikkoman-- stick to low-sodium soy sauce.

3. Psy for Nongshim instant noodles

What would a trade show be without a little celebrity endorsement? Guy Fieri's mug was hocking something we refused to try. Michael Buble's crooning could be heard in the Canadian aisle, eh? But the melting pot of showmanship culminated with our one-hit wonder of 2012: Psy. Nongshim originally asked him to promote their snacks, but it turns out our Korean stud often eats their ramen, "The best way to eat the noodle is to blow on it with your mouth four times." Okkkkaaaayyyy. If this doesn't pan out, there's always his other deals for soju, a cell phone and a refrigerator company.
 

2. Rub Some Butt BBQ Sauce
Rub some sexual harrassment in a jar!
Rub some sexual harrassment in a jar!

Oh, those Carolina BBQers! Gotta love 'em for a catchy name. Rub Some Butt reminds us of the time we were in Ville Platte, Louisana, and stumbled upon the Slap Ya Mama! general store. They were present at the fest, too. We chuckled, smiled, took our pic and walked away. If there was a Spencer's for food products, this would be a best-seller. Right next to our #1. . .

1. Holy Crap cereal

Double meaning
Double meaning

Nobody cares if you're gluten free, lactose free, vegan and Kosher; It still tastes like cardboard. Giving yourself a, "Hey, look at me!" name is about as insecure as the girl who insists on being the center of attention. Overcompensating won't get you far enough. Yeah, we're definitely not laughing with you.

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