So, I've started writing this thing about eight times now, each time trying not to inject my tiresome doom-and-gloom outlook on New Year's Eve into the piece and each time failing. But this time, if it kills me, I'm going to try really hard to pull a smile and focus for once not on the shortcomings of the year past and the all-but-guaranteed disappointment of the year to come, but instead on how genuinely fun it is going to be to get so drunk that temporal distinctions like past and future cease to have any meaning. I'm not normally one to encourage such irresponsible behavior, but it's New Year's, and if you've secured a sober ride home, then drink 'em if you got 'em. After all, I think it's important to remember that the Native Americans (some of them anyway) used to say that vomiting from indulgence of "spiritual" intoxicants was not "getting sick," but rather "getting well." I think they were referring to drugs such as peyote—not Jäger—but it's at least a good line to use on your date as he's holding your hair back... More >>>