My oldest sister is moving from California to New Jersey. I considered making an encouraging and sympathetic cut-and-paste collage for her, which would feature some key Jersey elements on a fetching neon-pink background. Aside from "the mall" and "BIGGEST HAIR IN WORLD!" the only thing I thought up that was at all worthy was Bruce Springsteen (my favorite band in life, which is in fact from Secaucus, New Jersey, doesn't make the grade because my sister probably isn't into the genius of divorce rock). It all seemed a futile pursuit, though. Bruce is great, New Jersey might even be great—it's not like I've ever been—but both are ultimately poor substitutes for their Californian counterparts—in the Boss' case, the five-headed... More >>>