What I Learned From The Real Housewives of Orange County

We heard it out of the mouth of one of the Bravo reality program's OC bimbots last night:

"Eight-five percent of the women around here have had boob jobs."

Goodness, gracious, someone inform the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Because their median income numbers are WAAAAAYYYYY off if 85 percent of Orange County women, adult women presumably, can afford the -- what? -- $5,000 for a boob job.* #$ * Or, $2,499 at Weekly advertiser OC Cosmetic Surgery Clinique.@

#$ Or, $599.99 at Dr. Nick Riviera's Casa de Trabajo de Muy Grande Sweater Puppies, freeway close in TJ. !!! @ At least that's the quote on page 2 of the current issue of the Weekly. &^

!!! Anesthesia may be sold separately. =_=

&^ Surely prices may vary depending on the extent of said procedure. We suggest giving OCSC at (866) 503-3233. +%

=_= Screw anesthesia; a half empty Old Pepe's Mescal '98 is always handy. And Dr. Nick never lets you drink alone! xxx +% Did we mention OCSC has a board-certified surgeon on staff?

xxx Dr. Nick don't need no stinkin' board certification!

To be fair, when the bimbot said "around here," she may not have been referring to ALL of Orange County. Just the ALL of Orange County she considers ALL of Orange County, which is, after all, the only Orange County that really counts.

Which means cut your hair, get a job and buy a padded bra if you exist in the parts of Orange County that DON'T count, Gidget!


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