Back in October, I mentioned a conversation I had had with KDOC head honcho Bert Ellis, who wanted to get the word out to fans that a lot of the old Wally George archives were missing.
Well, some kind soul managed to get hold of the old 12" E.P. "Wal-ly, Wal-ly," on which Wally, ahem, "sings," and put recordings of it up on a Myspace page for all to hear. The anonymous benefactor claims he'll soon be adding tracks from Wally's full-length album, "Wally George Sings the Rock Hits."
Music lovers might want to cover their ears, but fans of pop-culture cheese have to check these out. It probably isn't too surprising that the "Wally Rap" isn't rap at all, just a cheesy faux-scratch track backing up Wally as he yells things like, "Today's heavy metal musicians are drug-crazed, devil-worshipping maniacs!" Ah, for the days when metal seemed like it could destroy civilization.
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Wally actually sort-of raps on "Wally Wally," a brilliantly bad parody of "Louie Louie" with lyrics like "Now I'm the man/On your TV/Exposing the liberal/Con-spir-acy/Better dead than red/that's my lifelong cry/so I get 'em on the hotseat and watch them fry!"
Occupying a middle ground is "Say Wally," on which an interviewer asks him questions like , "Say Wally, what do you think about the gays?" ("I say God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!") or "Say Wally, what do you think of Walter Mondale?" ("Walter the wimp reminds me of the Goodyear blimp!").
The EP closes with "America Why I Love Her," in which the usually negative Wally finds something nice to say about each of the 50 states -- of Hawaii, he asks "Does the word 'aloha' make you feel warm?" [this may be a John Wayne cover -- see post immediately below!]
You probably won't be seeing a CD rerelease any time soon, and until Bill O'Reilly decides to record some kids' songs, it's hard to imagine any of Wally's spiritual descendants doing anything this amazing.