Wake Up, Pull Over [Hey, You!]

We were parked in front of the local elementary school when we heard the siren. Cars moved out of the way as best as they could on the narrow two-lane road, but not you. You kept going forward, as though you were leading the ambulance. But it was honking at you, and finally, the driver got on the intercom: “You neeeeed to mooooove out of the waaaaaaayyyy.” He enunciated the words slowly, almost comically, drawing them out. Should you ever need the services of EMTs, I sure hope there are no dumbasses like you in their way.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to le*****@oc******.com.

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