Top Five Warnings for Disney World "Revelers" About the Florida Family Association
Disney loves gays. Who doesn't? The Florida Family Association (FFA), that's who. But it's not enough for the FFA to merely hate gays. They also want to hate anyone who accepts gays. This especially includes anyone (straight or otherwise) who supports Disney World's week-long event known as "Gay Days."
The annual event encourages gay couples to bring their children to Disney World in Orlando to take part in numerous different events. Approximately 150,000 people attend the event every year, dumping nearly $150 million into the local economy over the week. But none of that matters to the FFA.
But just how much does the FFA hate gays? Well, enough to rent an airplane and tow a sign that read "WARNING GAY DAY AT DISNEY 6/4" high above the parks this past Saturday.
Learn more about this ridiculous stunt, and learn what Disney World vacationers (gay, straight and otherwise) should be warned about the Florida Family Association, after the jump.
I don't know about you guys, but if I saw this sign flying high above Disney World it would totally make me take off running for the straight hills:
Orange County Soccer Club v Real Monarchs SLC
TicketsSat., Jun. 3, 5:00pm
Premium Seating: Los Angeles Angels v. New York Yankees
TicketsMon., Jun. 12, 7:07pm
Los Angeles Angels vs. New York Yankees
TicketsMon., Jun. 12, 7:07pm
Premium Seating: Los Angeles Angels v. Kansas City Royals
TicketsThu., Jun. 15, 7:07pm
I've got to be honest: I thought every day was gay day at Disney.
According to the FFA, the mere sight of gays within the park causes "as many as 10,000 people" to "promptly exit" the park. Where they're getting these statistics is anyone's guess.
So in an attempt to fight one's sincere stupidity with some admittedly inane stupidity, I've come up with this list of five things that Disney World "revelers" (this is the term that the FFA uses to refer to homosexual parkgoers) should be warned about when it comes to the Florida Family Association.
1. They are small-minded bigots: This one should speak for itself. Don't feel bad though, gays, because they also hate Muslims. I know, big shock.
2. They elected Jeb Bush as Governor: For two terms! And his name is Jeb! Of course, this is something most of the entire state of Florida took part in, but I think it's pretty safe to say that there isn't a member of the FFA who didn't vote for him.
3. They rent planes and fly over highly-populated areas to harass and intimidate people: They have another name for these types of people as well: terrorists. Sure, maybe they didn't nosedive their tiny two-seater into the Tea Cups (gays love that ride because, duh, everyone knows that gays love tea), but they're still purposely fucking with the psyche and mental well-being of everyone who sees their hate-filled message. Believe me, I'm no advocate of waterboarding, but it would be interesting to hear just how much information David Caton has. Or it might just be fun.
4. They hate Campbell's Soup: No shit. What is more American than Campbell's Soup?!? Who hates Campbell's Soup?!? Wait a minute... Campbell's Soup... Andy Warhol... the homoerotic Factory scene in New York during the sixties... nope, I still don't get it.
5. They got "Skins" cancelled on MTV: Or at least they claim they did. Okay... maybe they're not 100% awful. But no, really, they are.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Orange County, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.