I remember when Tim Conway Jr. was cool: back when he was on KLSX-FM 97.1, first with Doug Steckler, then Brian Whitman. But ever since he's been on KFI-AM 640, Timmy's been a tool (not to be confused with Timmy O'Toole) who tries to strike a happy medium between Borscht Belt cynic Handel and Know Nothing JohnKen but ends up a sad imitator of nothing (except, of course, for the genius "What the Hell did Jesse Jackson Say?").
Really: his show is unlistenable. But that's the only thing I can listen to when I get out of the office, because my transistor radio can only pick up KFI, in some sick-as-fuck God joke. But He works in mysterious ways, and that's how I was able to listen to Conway Jr. make an ass out of himself in trying to advocate for child-abuse victims.
The quote happened on Tuesday while Conway Jr. was discussing the case of LA-area elementary school teacher Mark Berndt, who'd tie up his students, feed them semen, and take pictures. The radio host was rightfully disgusted--and then his show took a turn for the coded racism that characterizes too much of KFI's coverage.
Conway Jr. was trying to be sympathetic, saying that school districts tend to dump predator teachers in lower-income neighborhoods, which is somewhat true. But he didn't stop there--Conway Jr. then said that Berndt's victims probably didn't speak up because they couldn't speak good English or their parents were illegals. His proof? School demographics that show the elementary school where Berndt taught is super-majority Mexican. Um, okay...
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And then Timmy just went pendejo. Playing KABC-TV Channel 7 audio of a neighbor who saw the teacher walking with a young girl at the beach, Conway Jr. claimed, "This happens in Orange County, 15 people...call the cops when they see this in Orange County," while then stating such behavior is tolerated in LA.
His insinuation: Orange County is filled with virtuous Americans (read: gabachos) who won't tolerate pedophiles; LA is filled with poor minorities who do.
Um, yeah, because all those Michael Harris victims at Santa Margarita High were poor Mexicans. Or because all those people who saw assistant boys' basketball coach Jeff Andrade get in a fight with his victim in a Mater Dei parking lot so long ago immediately called the cops.
I could go on with the horror story that is OC not only tolerating pedophiles but defending their honor, but I'll end with Timmy's own fuck-up: even as he was going on and on about how such crimes could only happen in LA, he then openly fantasized about gang members killing Berndt. But I thought LA was apathetic toward pedophiles...so which is it, Timmy?