The "Real" Housewives of Orange County

The "Real" Housewives of Orange County

Viewing these women in their constantly demeaning, self-inflated state is like taking a time portal back to freshman year of high school.  Essentially you're viewing a group of ladies trying desperately to be popular without knowing why they want it, but understanding that they'll do whatever it takes to get it. Only in this high school, all of the women's faces look like they're about to rip down the middle from being pulled so tightly and then injected with filler. Images of over stuffed burritos come to mind...

Take Vicki for example, she is clearly the most annoying of all these bitches. She's drunk and loud and so consumed with herself that she has absolutely no idea what a walking contradiction she is. In this episode, Vicki's decided to take a "family vacation" to Mexico, only her husband isn't invited. Her kind, gentle husband Don--who loves her even though she is an annoying, attention-starved drama queen--isn't welcome to spend time with his own family on this vacation that his money is probably paying for. Vicki didn't even ask the guy if he'd like to go. She just excluded him because she's constantly trying to make everyone around her as miserable as she is.

Then, when her kids say they'd prefer not to join her Mexico either, she decides to play the victim. She pleads with the children not to embarrass her, when just moments before she'd embarrassed Don in front of millions by airing out her grievances on national television. Too bad she's too dense to realize the only person who should embarrassed by all this is her.

Meanwhile, Tamra is continuing to feel inferior to the new young housewife Gretchen. So she decides to show the world that she doesn't care that she's not the hottest lady in the bunch anymore by strutting around in lingerie and buying sex toys during a 10-minute long "look-at-me-I'm-still-hot-and-don't-feel-threatened-at-all-by-younger-women" segment. Which apparently wasn't enough to make her feel good about herself, because moments later when all of the ladies board a limo to go to a Beverly Hills spa for the day, Tamra decides to talk mad shit on Gretchen.

Upcoming Events

"Hold on to your daddies girls," she proclaims. And wouldn't you know it? Another housewife who feels terrible on the inside, Vicki, decides to join in on the hate by adding, "Everything on [Gretchen] his fake."

Open your eyes, honey. Everything on all of you is fake.

When Gretchen boards the bitch bus, Jeana tells her of the words being spouted and Vicki resorts to ignoring everyone and typing furiously on her laptop. She claims to be a work-a-holic but it feels more like Vicki's trying to generate a distraction so that she wont have to sit with her thoughts and realize how miserable she is.

And poor Gretchen actually continues to think that Tamra is nice and is going to be her friend. So sad.

Didn't these women learn anything from the four years of adolescent hell known as high school? The one thing that seemed to ring true back in my day was the people who thought they were cool and put others down were never popular. In their own minds they saw everyone coveting their wealth and beauty, but in reality no one gave a shit. It was the people who were happy, goal driven and treated others with respect that prospered. Perhaps this series should double as an after school special to teach children how not to act if they'd eventually like to graduate beyond petty, childish nonsense. That way it might actually do our society some good.

Sponsor Content


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >