The "Real" Housewives of Orange County

This week's episode of OC Housewives is all about the children. And oh what a bunch of mentally disturbed offspring they are indeed. But you know what they say, like mother like . . . you get the point.

It starts out with Lauri and her youngest daughter, Sophia, painting a closet because her other daughter “forgot“ to do it. The segment consists entirely of monologues about how much better Sophie is than her other kids.

“Out of my three children, Sophia is the only one that hasn’t disappointed me so far,” Lauri says. Gee, maybe that’s because she is 9-years-old. I give the little brat about three years before she turns into a superficial little bitch, just like the older one. Its the genes.

Side note: There is something wrong with this woman’s face. I don’t know what it is, but one of her surgeries went terribly wrong. The chin implant perhaps? I can’t be too sure, but she closely resembles Skeletor, and not in a good way.

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Then we have a segment on Tammy’s tatted-up daughter Megan, who just has turned 21 and decides to spend the entire episode shit-faced wasted. Joy! Tammy thinks her daughter is just rebelling because she still isn't over the death of her father. Maybe so, but I think she is just stupid and spoiled.

See, Tammy, being the kind mother she is, has borrowed her boyfriend’s yacht to take her Megan and some girl friends out for a "low key" birthday celebration. Too bad Megan invites her lame ass drunk male friends, gets extra hammered (to impress them) and decides to have a cake fight on board. This doesn't make Tammy's boyfriend happy and he promptly halts the celebration.

But the drunk daughter keeps doing shots, which leads to her pushing her mother’s face, pulling her sister's hair and calling her family members some choice names. Basically she totally disrespects her mother and herself. But it's okay because, according to Megan she's "allowed to be an idiot for a week” because its her birthday. Perfectly logical.

Meanwhile, Tamra’s son Ryan -- you remember him, he's the freeloader who has moved back home at 21 with no job. He spends a few minutes bragging to the camera that all he does is sleep and get wasted because he has no job and doesn’t want to help his mommy with the housework. So, he decides to go get a new tattoo with his parents’ money and surprise them with it. Great plan!

He ends up getting a giant Japanese woman’s face on his side. Unique and ugly. But the real fun starts when he comes home to show his mother his new purchase. She gets pissed. But Ryan, being the smart youngster that he is explains it away using the best of logic, “Whatever. At least I’m not doing drugs.” Poor Tamra's son is an asshole. Me thinks Ryan wont be living there for very much longer.

Then Jeana’s daughter Kara decides she wants to be an actress and gets an audition for the part of the mean rich girl (real stretch) in a movie. Too bad she doesn’t land the role because she isn’t skinny enough. Oh well, I guess she will have to just have to keep her way less cool fall-back plan of going to Berkley. Poor thing.

I hate these children.


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