The "Real" Housewives of Orange County

The Housewives season is coming to an end (thank god) so this week's episode concluded with a cliffhanger of sorts. Lauri is going to have a therapist-mediated get-together with her druggie son Josh to see if he can be part of her wedding. Annnnd . . . the cameras will be there to catch the whole thing!

No wonder the poor kid hates her. She's exploiting his disease to make herself look more saintly. For shame, Skelator. Aren't mothers supposed to put their children's needs before their own? I'm sure the last thing your son needs is to have his face plastered across America's televisions depicted as the spoiled suburban drug addict while Lauri gets to play the part of the helpless victim. So that should be fun to see next week. Joy!

Other than wedding drama there was another type of celebration this week, Tamra's 40th birthday party. All of the housewives were invited, even cougar Quinn who coincidentally isn't invited to Lauri's wedding. Quinn decided it might be a bit more appropriate to bring her older boyfriend, Billy, rather than her sugar baby, Jared. Smart thinkin'.

Everything is going well until... what's this? Jeana is hitting on Billy! Someone really needs to put Jeana in check, she keeps scoping out the men even, gasp!, her best friend Vicki's husband Donn.

"Donn's a good man," Jeana says to Vicki. "You better hold on to him."

But Vicki is getting impatient with her life. "I am like a bird ready to fly out of my cage," she says, "I think definitely sometimes that I wish I was single." Girl please. Anyone who could put up with Vicki for however many years they've been married is a keeper. I'm surprised he hasn't attempted suicide.

Vicki gets upset further with her marriage when Simon gives Tamra a diamond Rolex for her birthday present.

"I don't even have one and I'm older," she complains. "Donn doesn't buy me any expensive gifts." Jesus Christ. Well then that settles it. Divorce his ass, Vicki. He obviously isn't worth a shit. I swear, these women are so fickle.

Once that raging party is over, Quinn and Billy go off to Vegas for the weekend since they weren't invited to Lauri's wedding. So being the crazy bitch she is, she decides to bring up marriage with the guy after they've been dating three months. Oh and she decides to try and convert him over to the Jesus Lovers Club, better known as Christianity.

Billy doesn't seem thrilled by either of these developments, though he hasn't ever seemed thrilled by Quinn in general. So it looks like the two of them are heading to Splitzville. I just hope they get into a huge screaming match before they do. It would be more entertaining. You know. For the children.


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