The Orange County Interwebs Horror Show this week pulls from the collection of online tubes and chutes examples of the finest folks who call this region home.
We're talking cheatin' radiomen, Mexican trailer trash, Costa Mesa flashers, surgically frightening Midwest transplants and Newport Beach fishermen who piss in Gatorade bottles.
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Don't Forget the Trenchcoat Weichman Realtors is
apparently going for a real niche client base, according to this
headline for a Jan. 13 post: “Expose Yourself In Costa Mesa, CA.” (Life in Costa Mesa)
This Is Radio Clash A New Haven County, Connecticut, ham-radio enthusiast's lament about spending $700 on his new hobby brought this response from Orange Countian “RadioDaze”: “The only difference between radios and crack/heroin/insert-your-addiction-here is that the first radio usually ISN''T free . . . but you'll always be Jonesing for more.” RD, whose ID photo is Peter Graves' Captain Clarence Oveur from the movie Airplane!, later added this could-be-worse addendum to the notion of a married hammer cheating on his spouse with his radio: “Tell her, and you may quote me, that guys who have hobbies that occupy their minds and their time rarely have minds or time available for affairs, gambling or drinking binges. And also . . . oh, wait a sec, the phones ringing. . . . I gotta get that. It's my bookie girlfriend–I have to answer it in the garage so my wife doesn't hear. (Hic).” (Radio Reference Forums)
Move Over, Racist Fustercluck A recent party that got out of hand drew this video and headline from a site called the Two Malcontents: “Open Borders: Mexican Trailer Trash Start Melee With Santa Ana cops.”
The same site headlines a video that shows a Chinese artist having his trousers fall down around his ankles while in a reception line with a certain former president like so: “Flashback: President Clinton Meets His Hero–The Inventor of the Quick Release Pants.” (The Two Malcontents)
Pick-Up Artist Some folks really know how to live, like this Newport Beach resident: “I
am going to do something great someday. But for now, I clamber about on
a dock, stepping in smashed anchovy guts and picking up Gatorade bottles
full of fishermen piss.” (En.Gravatar.com)
Coast Roast The question is simple: “What's awesome in Newport Beach?” The answers are mostly restaurants, but Eric H.
ends his list of recommendations with “Avoid anything to do with Newport Coast.” That prompts Chris E. to ask, “So why are you strongly
against Newport Coast?” Eric H.'s answer: “It's filled with Midwest
transplants/bad surgery victims that live in houses they can't afford
and act like hot shit, plus it ruined the coast from Newport to Laguna.” Yeah, and don't forget the random piles of anchovy guts and bottles of fishermen piss. (Yelp)
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.