The only endorsement that matters
Are you a fan of Hillary but not sure she can win? A Romney follower who has questions about his Mormonism? Like Giuliani, but hate his abortion stance? Dig Obama, but worry about his pals who hate gays?
It's tough to pick a presidential candidate who's just right, especially with all the pundits arguing back and forth over just who is electable and why. Chances are you're still undecided.
But that need be the case no longer.
Forget the TV talking heads. Forget conventional wisdom. All you need to know is...
CHUCK NORRIS HAS ANNOUNCED HIS PERSONAL PICK FOR PRESIDENT!
Who is it, you might ask?
It's Mike Huckabee.
Norris explains why in an article posted at Movieguide, comparing Huckabee to the young King David, which presumably implies, if taken to the logical conclusion, that Huckabee's going to sling a rock at some guy's head, seduce Hillary Clinton and have Bill killed.
As to worries that being an ordained minister might be a problem, Norris notes that some of the founding fathers had friends who were ministers. Logic is not his strong suit.
But he's Chuck freakin' Norris! Who are we to argue with his choice? Besides, he will personally come to the house of every Republican voter who doesn't agree and whup their behinds. Because that's how he rolls.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss OC Weekly's biggest stories. Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts