1,975 years after being nailed to a cross for our sins, Jesus Christ, son of God, our savior, the Messiah, Lamb and Nazarene, has just worked a miracle in Oregon.
That's the good news being shared by Reverend Wiley Drake, our favorite local gay-bashing Southern Baptist. In one of his relentless, several-times-a-day-emails, Drake tells the Weekly that an Oregon supreme court ruled yesterday that the state's ban on gay marriage is constitutional. You might recall that last week, California's supreme court ruled the opposite, allowing gay couples to apply for marriage certificates as soon as the state ban expires next month.
“One more win for Jesus and the good guys,” says Drake. “Praise God, Jesus and the good guys win again.” The rest of the email gives a nice history of Oregon's Measure 36, passed by voters in 2004, which outlawed man-man and lady-lady nuptials. Drake doesn't give any details about how exactly Jesus achieved this “victory” nor does he answer the question of why our lord and savior failed to protect us God-fearing folks in California from gay people who want to get hitched.
As Edward G. Robinson once told Charlton Heston, “Where's your Messiah now?”
Award-winning investigative journalist Nick Schou is Editor of OC Weekly. He is the author of Kill the Messenger: How the CIA’s Crack Cocaine Controversy Destroyed Journalist Gary Webb (Nation Books 2006), which provided the basis for the 2014 Focus Features release starring Jeremy Renner and the L.A. Times-bestseller Orange Sunshine: The Brotherhood of Eternal Love’s Quest to bring Peace, Love and Acid to the World, (Thomas Dunne 2009). He is also the author of The Weed Runners (2013) and Spooked: How the CIA Manipulates the Media and Hoodwinks Hollywood (2016).