The King of Players
Illustration by Bob AulHey! You! Ignoramus! You've had so many signs that your WAY younger boyfriend of the past five years has been cheating on you. You kick the horny little predator out, only to take him back time and time again! Do you have ANY clue how many women he picks up in chat rooms, invites them to see his "band," and then sleeps with? He has so many bed buddies! Why the hell do you think HE pays the phone bill? Do you EVER see it? He even claims not to have sex with YOU! And that you don't CARE that he cheats! By the way, I did him when you were broken up this last time, and I consider you my friend. For that, I am sorry, but I never thought you would get back together! The sick thing is he's still trying to get back into my pants and calling me now that you are back together! Throw him out for good or marry the loser! At least then those of us with a shred of decency will have a reason to dump his lying, cheating ass —though I assure you marriage won't keep him faithful. The King of Players, that's what he is! Show up at one of his gigs unannounced, and you will see what I mean. Unless you prefer a life of denial.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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