Every Monday, adult superstar/OC girl Tasha Reign gives us her thoughts on life, sex, politics and everything in between. Today, Tasha weighs in on how guys can become bosses in the bedroom. Enjoy!
How Guys Can Please Girls in the Bedroom By Tasha Reign
Sex!!! What do women want in the bedroom? What do you want in the bedroom? GOOD sex! At least you have that in common and when you realize what that constitutes for you and your partner, then communication will play a pertinent role in your lives and only after that can you ultimately achieve the goal. But what is good sex? It's the epitome of subjectivity, but I can definitely recommend basics.
*Setting the mood is pivotal. It does not mean that you have to prepare a bath and roses, candles, or flattering lighting (hint hint: what I want); it does however, though, that something should be thought out, so that the other person is either prepared or in the right mindset. Planning something fun the day of or day before is frisky and exciting because that way you both have something to look forward to, even if it's just a naughty text or dirty little email. It's the anticipation that creates a sense of fantasy for the woman and that way she can be ready for playtime when you want her to be. Or, if you're more of an in-the-moment kind of guy, then I suggest getting to know your girl extremely well so that when you decide to jump her, she is happy, giddy, and down to play, not stressed out and annoyed that your trying to get in her pants.
*Make sure you make the move by focusing on her and not your needs. She will, in turn, be way more apt to fulfill your desires once she has that initial trust of a mutually beneficial sex act. For example, I personally do not want to hear about how a guy needs to get rid of his urge to bang; I would instead prefer why he wants to be with me specifically--details included are always nice!
*You never want to discuss and critique the other person while you are in the act. This always leads to fights. I don't care how open you are as a couple. It's too sensitive of a moment and people are too insecure to handle this type of criticism. But women and men need and want to improve on pleasing each other and fulfilling their own sexual desires, so discuss these topics and issues in a safe and comfortable environment at some point in the day. Its always nice to bring up to a woman first what it is exactly that you love about her or are turned on by that she does to you. It's a nice way to then being able to suggest something that you would like done differently. No one likes to be put down, so if there is an act that is bothering you (more likely something you want her to do to you or with you in the bedroom), then I recommend the kind and gentle opener first. I have personally been offended by sex critiques, so I know first-hand that I prefer that little dance before the "I was wondering if you could do this more...or if we could try...or do you think you could? " questions.
*If your girl is not interested in doing something that you are so obsessed with doing, then we both know where you should go...porn. No need to bring the genre of whatever act you want to do that she is adamantly against so soon into the bedroom, right? Instead, take her to the adult sex store--I suggest The Pleasure Chest, or Condom Revolution--and let her pick out something: lingerie, toys, anything that turns her on. Then ask her if she would be willing to get another toy for herself that would turn you on, maybe a baby step in whatever direction you were planning on going. If she is still not willing to do this, then I think you need to revisit this idea when you two are closer or just keep it between you and your computer screen. That's why I am here!
Now, at NSFW treat for you guys after jump...
*Be a boss. I want a man who's going to show me who is boss in the bedroom. I am so in control in all other aspects of my life, that I better get to play a girly girl in my private time! Women love foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay so do not rush your moves because while you may be ready, she is not. Set a mood and make it known she is the only one you truly want, give her the attention she deserves!
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Ultimately what I have learned in sex, in porn, and over the last 100-plus movies I have performed in is that you need to show your partner that they are the sexiest person alive in the moments you are having sex with them--that is the key. When I get to set and need to shoot a movie or scene with a female that I don't necessarily find attractive, or someone I would not choose to have sex with in my personal life, I try to find the most appealing, sexiest, nicest, most intriguing physical characteristics about that person and focus on them, creating the illusion that they are whom I find extremely attractive. It's like tricking myself into a great performance. I am not suggesting that you trick yourself; however I do think you need to act a little and remind yourself beforehand that if you show your female partner that she is so hot and just unbearably beautiful and goddess-like that this will most definitely benefit you in your ultimate goals ahead ;)
It's so simple but easily forgotten because as a man, I'm sure its easy to get caught up in the moment and just take what you are needing or finding release from, but if you always make it about yourself, this will push your partner away or at least leave her unsatisfied, which I know you do not want! Don't you want her to brag how great you are to all of her friends?
Follow Tasha Reign on Twitter @tashareign