NEWS ITEM: The parent company of Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park announced it has agreed to a buyout. Ohio-based Cedar Fair Entertainment--which, besides Snott's, owns 10 other amusement parks, seven water parks and five hotels across the U.S. and Canada--says the $2.4 billion transaction with asset manager Apollo Global Management is partly financed by J.P. Morgan, Bank of America and others. The feds and Cedar Park shareholders still must OK the deal.
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INSTA-REACTION: Yet, I can't qualify to refinance my mortgage? WTF? Would it help if I dressed up as Snoopy, hawked artery-clogging chicken dinners and added puke stains under the kiddie slide out back?