Skeletor v. Terminator: Maria Shriver Files for Divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger

If you didn't see this one coming, you probably still hold onto the belief machines will not one day enslave us mortals:

Skeletal, Oprah-endorsed, Kennedy-spawn Maria Shriver has filed for a divorce from maid-bangin', 'roid-constructed, faded-action-star-turned-gubernatorial flop Arnold Schwarzenegger.  

Maria cites irreconcilable differences (read: wandering Extrawurst).

"Talk to ze hand."
"Talk to ze hand."

Her lawyer Laura Wasser filed divorce documents in Los Angeles County Superior Court six weeks after Ahnuld disclosed he fathered a child with former housekeeper and Fifth Street tranny doppelgänger Mildred Baena.

Shriver is seeking shared custody of their two sons under 18 and an "amicable" divorce--which in California legal speak means half of the millions and millions Schwarzenegger earned over their 25 years of marriage.

The ex-Governator, who cited his keen business acumen to get rubes to elect him to the Golden State's top elected office, never got a pre-nup.

Ach du lieber!


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