Screw Rick Warren, Dolphin Speakers May Soon Have Us Leading a Porpoise-Driven Life

If we could talk to the animals, learn all their languages, maybe chat up a dolphin in the sea . . .

Actually, when it comes to Flipper, and with apologies to Rex Harrison, scientists truly believe they are close to swapping stories with dolphins, thanks to past acoustic research into the sounds and hearing of the sea mammals and a prototype speaker that blasts the noise back at 'em.

Charles Choi spreads the word in the Christian Science Monitor. The dolphin speaker is only weeks old, and scientists hope to, uh, fine-tune the technology more in the future.

The goal is to develop back-and-forth, call-and-respond sounds so we can achieve with dolphins what this two country's two major political parties have not: the ability to speak to one another.

The eggheads' findings to date were revealed May 15 at the Acoustical Society of America meeting in Hong Kong. (Beats me why Americans aren't meeting in America; maybe rooms are cheaper or China underwrote it?)

Sadly, it would not have been ready for that dolphin at Bolsa Chica that recently had a helluva time escaping bully dolphins blocking the path to the open sea.

If the equipment and correct sounds had been developed by then, Harvey Weinstein, Elton John and the cast of Glee could have got on the horn to tell him (her?) it all gets better after high school.

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