To the female road rager I encountered this morning: I want to apologize for not jumping into oncoming traffic when you thought it was best to do so and made you flip me off and honk your horn. Sorry for further aggravating you by going 5 mph and abruptly stopping as you tailgated, making you come to a screeching halt. Sorry I didn't run over the family of five as I stopped to let them pass, making you miss the green light. However, I have a few suggestions: Don't try to catch up to a car that is faster than yours. When you finally catch up, try to not pass so you don't have to pull back and look dumb. Remember that when you roll down your window to go off on someone, they might not hear you if their window is rolled up. Also, may I suggest you rethink your neck tattoos? The leopard-print one bulges when you are angry.
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