Prius Driver Self Important and Self Loving

Police received a call at 10:38 a.m. Friday that a man was masturbating while driving a Toyota Prius at Irvine Boulevard and Browning Avenue in Tustin.

Gentlemen (and Danica Patrick), start your en-jokes . . .

Is that a drive shaft or are you just happy to see me?

Pray he paid the dealer to Scotchgard the upholstery.

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I'm pretty sure that's not what was meant by "Oh what a feeling."

Don't even get him around a plug-in hybrid.

I can tell by his stick shift he's Jewish.

OK, your turn . . .

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