After this weekend's violent USC-UCLA football pre-game tailgate fiasco, we've found the almost perfect holiday gift for Trojan fans:
The 77-pound, portable, L-shaped Best of Times Bar ("As seen on TV!") created by a Dana Point firm and now designed with, I kid you not, a USC option.
According to Robert DeMars, company CEO, the patented bar can be assembled in less than 10 minutes without any tools, has ample storage that can keep up to 18 bottles of beer "icy cold," four padded bar stools, umbrella and an optional grill station.
And, of course, it's all decorated in proud Trojan colors (even if they sucked this season).
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Nothing to the typical USC grad: a measly $699.
But, DeMars, you forgot to include one necessary feature.
Given this weekend's tailgate fist-fights and stabbings, you should also include a well-stocked triage kit.
Go HERE to see the company's promotional Youtube video for its portable bar.
--R. Scott Moxley / OC Weekly