Illustration by Bob AulAll you poppy poseurs walk around school like you're all punk and stuff even though you still listen to pop music. And just because Avril Lavigne wears metal (bracelets, belts, etc.), you girls wear them at recess and lunch and after school (you can't during class because we have to wear uniforms). And you also wear beanies and have your hair in pigtails and go around singing nursery rhymes to be funny, but you still act all Valley Girl. And whenever someone says something stupid about you, you make really stupid comebacks like, "You're so ugly you break mirrors," and you start laughing like that's the funniest joke even though it's not funny—it's stupid. And you say you listen to rock music, but your idea of rock is Good Charlotte or anyone KIIS-FM plays who raises their voices. You refuse to wear pants because you say it's too boyish, even though you choose to look like Avril, and she refuses to wear skirts. Oh, and what's with the white or navy-blue socks that go up to your knees? Sometimes I wish I could pick the locks on your lockers, take down all your pictures and stuff, and put up stickers with the logos of Bad Religion and the Dead Kennedys, and then watch you freak out because that's too angry music for you. For now, I'll just keep calling you poppy poseurs because it makes you so mad.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OCWeekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Orange County, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.