If you celebrate Cinco de Mayo today in Cinco de Drinko style (see the current print edition for places to get sauced--or salsaed), you may want to pretend that you are a member of the Mexican army and the police are invading French soldiers.
That's because cops will be out in force today not to clash in the Battle of Puebla, but to remove drunken drivers from the road.
Yes, add Cinco de Mayo to the list of party-hearty days that countywide "Avoid the 38" patrols are deployed.
According to the men and women in blue, roving DUI patrols will be conducted today in Brea, Buena Park, Costa Mesa, Fountain Valley, Fullerton, Garden Grove, Huntington Beach, La Habra, Newport Beach, Placentia, Santa Ana, UC Irvine and the South County cities under contract with the Orange County Sheriff's Department for police services.
Officers will stop errant drivers, check for the signs of intoxication, conduct field sobriety tests, arrest those who are intoxicated and impound vehicles of those with suspended or no license.
Authorities say DUI-related crashes have dropped in California since the increase in sobriety checkpoints and these special DUI enforcement campaigns.
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"Communities everywhere will see special events and night spots celebrating Cinco de Mayo," said Sgt. Mark Daigle of the Orange County Sheriff's Department Traffic Bureau, in an "Avoid the 38" statement.
"If you do go out and celebrate," Daigle adds, "make sure you have a non-drinking designated driver to get you home safe."
And remember: Even if you do come out on the winning side in tonight's Battle of Puebla, the French Army will still end up marching on Mexico City, overthrowing the government and ultimately winning the war.
The cops always do.