Phone Faux Pas [Hey, You!]

You are the young woman who walked into our dentist’s office and sat down on the couch opposite me to wait for your appointment. I am the older man who was sitting in a big chair, checking messages on my phone while I also waited. Please let me explain myself. I forgot my reading glasses at home, which unfortunately means I have to tilt my phone up and hold it at arm’s length while I bug my eyes out in hopes of being able to read my work email. I didn’t realize until about my third or fourth message that this looks as if I’m not only taking pictures of you, but also that I’m practically salivating over my subject matter while I’m doing it. You got up and walked behind my chair to stand and wait. I’m so sorry. As a father of three, including two daughters, I get it. They’ve both complained about older men being creepy at places such as the beach, the mall, etc. I’m not a letch, just mature enough to need the little cord that keeps my reading glasses around my neck at all times.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to le*****@oc******.com.

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