Listen to the message above. It's one Sandy Roberts, outraged that my alma mater, UCLA, chose me to give their commencement speech this month. I was confused at first, though, because I couldn't figure out what exactly upset her so much about me. Was she a Know Nothing? A pedophile apologist? An Armenian genocide-denier? American TP member? Don Papi Pulido acolyte? Pissed-off AFSCME worker? Candy Ass gang spouse? Ya gotta give me something to work with, Sandy!
Today, I received a fax from her that she sent Friday to UCLA Chancellor Gene Block that made sense--I'm not "cool" enough.
Roberts uttered most of the same inanities she left on my voice mail, except the number of parents upset turned to 20 from the 50 she claimed. "I am not Mexican and I could care less what the 'Ask a Mexican' columnist has to say," she wrote. "THIS IS REVERSE RACISM."
The woman then went on to list people she thinks are better suited than me, reasoning, "Of all the significant people in the world and all of the 'cool' celebrities in LA, I am certain you can do better than this." Some of her choices: Carol Lin, Donald Trump, Jack Black, and Phil Knight, oblivious on the latter suggestion that UCLA is an Adidas school, not Nike.
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On one point do Sandy and I agree: inviting Law and Order: Special Victims Unit star and fellow Bruin Mariska Hargitay instead of me. She's HOT!