The first Orange County Interwebs Horror Show of 2011 looks for local smoke shops that don't card and lovingly admires a Surf City solo dancer and a bitch who out-Octomoms Octomom.
Don't worry, those last two are separate items.
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Speaking of items, if you see something that belongs in this
review of stuff written from or about Orange County on the Interwebs, e-mail me a link, 'k?
When Smoke Gets In Your iPhone Joe B. does not want much in life. He just wants to find a “smoke shop” in Orange County that does not card–you know, ask for identification. Unfortunately for Joe, his yelper helpers would rather crack wise. “Yeah, the illegal ones,” answers Mari “You Wann” A., who later adds, “I smell narc.” Meanwhile, Chris H. asks via iPhone, “Smoke shops as in cigar shops . . . or head shops so you can buy your bongs and screens and Zig Zags, you fuckin' burnout?!?!?” (Yelp)
Seventeen Is Enough “If you thought Octomom's breeding capabilities were disgusting, get a load of this bitch,” advises a poster who notes, “(Dog joke)” in case you didn't get it. (Got it?) The bitch in question–a Rhodesian Ridgeback from EbereschenhofI, Germany, not a media ho in La Habra–gave birth “naturally” to 17 puppies. Etana had nine boy dogs and eight girl dogs, informs the piece. Suck on that, Nadya Suleman! “When they all want to nurse at once, she probably just lies there and hates the jerk who knocked her up,” jokes the poster, again referring to the canine, not . . . oh, never mind. “I say we volunteer to get this brave mama a new pair of boobs and some vaginoplasty surgery, stat.” And don't forget the Angelina Jolie lips! (The Frisky)
So You Think You Can Dance Billy Idol had a huge hit in the 1980s with “Dancing With Myself.” The fellow in the video below from Huntington Beach Pier obviously takes that song to heart. Or, as the poster put it, “he kicks, cartwheels and dances to the tune in his head.” (I Am Bored)
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.