One More for the Road

Bob Aul

You were ejected Monday night from the tavern for inappropriate behavior. You were so drunk you couldn't even stand up. You then proceeded to relieve yourself on vehicles parked outside—ewwwww! Then you got—I'm sorry—fell into your big, heavy sedan, ready to drive. Fortunately, finding the starter took you long enough for us to call 911 and give the dispatcher your license plate, but not long enough for anyone to arrive and stop you from exiting the parking lot and career off, leaving your lovely date standing bemused outside the bar. WTF? I hope and pray officers stopped you before you caused an accident.

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