It's half past midnight. Where's KTLA?
Standing outside Paris Hilton's West Hollywood house with the paparazzi, providing hours of live streaming video to their website and latimes.com.
The scoop? The heiress has been released and she juuuust might come home. Or not, the genius giving the report (Chris Wolf), announces. She could very well go to her parents' home. Or a hotel. Or get on a jet...the inane monologue continues...
Then, at 12:35 a.m., they mercifully cut the sound on the video.
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Noted : The creepy balding man in the pink shirt and floral shorts prancing around holding up the "Welcome Home Paris, We love you" sign.
12:44 a.m. Sound comes back on. Wolf repeats the message as some folks trying to promote their movie URL picket and smoke cigarettes in the background.
"They're going to be here all night long and so will we," he says, before the sound is cut at 12:46 a.m.
I don't know who's sadder. Wolf and co. for getting saddled with the gig, or me, sitting up watching it. Dunno about him, but there's a pillow with my name on it.