Obama's Amerika Cracks Down on Butt Cracks!

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Sure, Jon Stewart can mock those courageous Fox News hounds exposing the wussy Socialist tyrannical ways of the 10-week-old Obama administration, but look what the Chosen One's hyper-P.C-anti-freedom-thug governance just wrought.

The Laguna Niguel City Council voted 5-0 last night to crack down on butt cracks opened wide for passing trains, adopting new laws to ban drinking, restrict parking, stem pee flows and cordone off the area where scores of revelers drop their drawers for Mugs Away Saloon's annual Mooning of Amtrak.

Dear God, when will this madness end? 

Oh, sure, you can point out that attendance has mushroomed every second Saturday of July since the tradition began on a bar bet 30 years ago, drawing 8,000 drunk backside barers last year and raising enough mayhem--nudity, public sex, public vomitting, public potty breaks, unconsciousness--that 50 deputies had to be pulled away from their usual duties, emptying every doughnut shop for miles.

"What was originally just a fun, family-type of event of showing your rear end to the train has just gotten out of control," said city Police Chief Linda Solorza, according to a rare Orange County report in the LA Times. "There were people that were drunk, unable to care for themselves and in various stages of undress. There were sex acts."

Sex acts in Laguna Niguel, of course, are forbidden, except among the politicians, celebrities and AIG executives registered under fake names with their "assistants" at the St. Regis.

Now, some may suggest the Weekly's disgust over this blatant big government power grab is actually born out of anger that it could negatively impact the advertising, stories and slideshows and more slideshows we routinely lap up from Moon Amtrak.

That's just silly.
It'd be like ending an earth-shaking news item such as this with a gratuitous plug for MoonAmtrak.org informing that the 30th annual mooning of next Mooning of Amtrak and concurrent 4th annual Mooning of Metrolink are all-day Saturday, July 11, along the chain-link fence adjacent to the train tracks directly across from . . .
(949) 582-9716        .
If my wife calls, I'm not there.
Finally, if you think this post is making a mountain out of an ass mole, look at what Obama's Stormtroopers have forced MoonAmtrak.org to position at the top of its site: 
THIS WEB SITE does not contain offensive or sexually suggestive material, and is not classified as "Adult". It is acknowledged however, that the "Mooning" of a public conveyance may be considered objectionable to some. The photos presented here are not "revealing" and are quite safe for all age groups to view.
Look next for your mandatory, government-issue Birkenstocks, turbin and Chinese silk shirt in the mail.


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