Not in My Back Alley

Illustration by Bob AulHey, tagger! I would call you by your preferred moniker of graffiti artist, but that would imply that you had some talent, some artistry, or something intelligent to say. Instead, you are simply pissing on a wall like a dog on a tree. All you are doing is depreciating property values and proving to the world how all the stereotypes about Mexicans and other immigrants are correct. When people see graffiti, they don't think, "Wow! Some hard-working person of high intelligence must have done that." No, they think, "Send that idiot back to wherever he/she came from." If you want to leave your mark on the world, then do something worthy. Become a Rhodes scholar, win the Nobel Peace Prize, create a cure for a disease, open a free facility to help inner-city kids, or simply open a business and create jobs for your community. Oh yeah, I forgot: all of that requires talent, skill, perseverance and vision. So continue to mark up the city like a dog. And just like a dog, when you die, there will be 10 other dogs there to piss on my wall.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at


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