ROB NIEDERMAYER
-Center for the NHL's Mighty Ducks of Anaheim
-Born on Dec. 28, 1974
-Resembles John Tesh
-Wears a protective helmet
-Known as a tremendous skater
-He's considered a strong, silent type not prone to emotion.
-He loves to put the puck on his teammates' sticks.
-He was a member of the 1993 Canadian World Junior team that struck gold.
-His father is a doctor in Cranbrook, British Columbia.
-He spent two seasons battling injuries, including a bout with concussions.
-Florida made him the No. 5 pick in the 1993 draft, but despite great speed, good hands and above-average size, he never lived up to his potential and became a whipping boy for Florida fans.
-Calgary acquired him from Florida, but after two seasons and just before the playoffs, they let him go to Anaheim, where he has been red-hot. They shouldn't have fragged Niedermayer.
-His current contract pays him $2.1 million per year.
-Paul Kariya makes more ($10 million per year).
-Disney owns the rights to Rob Niedermayer.
DOUG NEIDERMEYER
-Sergeant of arms for the Omegas of Farber College
-Born on July 1, 1978 (the release date of National Lampoon's Animal House)
-Resembles H.R. Haldeman
-Wears a shiny army helmet
-Known as a tremendous asshole
-He's considered a loud, sadistic type prone to telling pledges to “drop and give me 20.”
-He loves to hit Dorfman with his riding crop.
-Mark Metcalf, the actor who played him, was—no joke—the grand marshal of the 2002 Sheboygan, New Jersey, Jaycees Brat Day Parade.
-His father “was an officer in the infantry during the Korean War.”
-A golf ball hit his horse, who threw him, causing neck and head injuries.
-At the end of Animal House, a subtitle says Doug Neidermeyer went to Vietnam, where he was “killed by his own troops.”
–Twilight Zone—The Movie, a later film by Animal House director John Landis, includes a scene in a swamp in Vietnam where one of the soldiers says, “I told you we shouldn't have fragged Neidermeyer.”
-Metcalf earned scale on Animal House.
-Donald Sutherland and Neidermeyer's horse were the only actors paid more than scale.
-Universal Pictures owns the rights to Doug Neidermeyer.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.