Neighborhood Buzzcock

Illustration by Bob AulFor the past small eternity, you have been constructing a wall around your residence on the hill above my little home. Your zeal and dedication are remarkable. For weeks, we have awakened to the sound of your power tools zipping through rebar and wrought iron and grating their way through masonry, often well before our city's earliest permitted hour for construction work. The racket continues throughout the day and often extends into the evening past 8. Tonight, you have taken the cake. It is a Saturday, and it is past 10 p.m., and the sound of your saws and grinders continues. It's no wonder you're building a wall around your house: your immediate neighbors up there probably hate you. Have you undertaken some bizarre personal challenge to test to the extreme laws concerning neighborhood noise? Just how long does it take for someone to construct a fucking cinder-block wall anyway, and what is so damned urgent about it that it keeps you up late on weekends when you could easily unwind with a walk in your formerly quiet neighborhood instead of re-creating 1961 Berlin? If you're trying to save money by doing it yourself—which is probably why it's taking forever—I would suggest you're either a cheap bastard or you probably should be spending your money on something a little more relevant than a brick barrier or at least saving until you could afford to hire a crew to do it in a day or two. Does the fact that we below you are mere condo owners and you obviously belong to a higher income bracket have anything to do with your active disdain for your neighbors' peace and quiet, or are you plainly insensitive to anything but your own concerns? I can't wait until this runs so I can deliver a copy to your fortress right before I call the cops on you.


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