You there, engulfed in the Weekly's ripping Best of OC wonderfulness, immediately stop what you are doing.
NOW!
Please allow us time to make the list complete with the Best Worst Beach Bathrooms.
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And the winner is . . .
SAN CLEMENTE'S BEACH BATHROOMS!
Specifically, according to San Clemente City Councilman Wayne Eggleston, the worst of the worst in all of Orange County are his town's public toilets at North Beach, Corto Lane, south of the pier, the end of the pier, T-Street Beach and south T-Street.
Eggleston makes the bold claim not via Mr. Whipple but the Orange County Register's Fred Swegles.
“I think we have the worst beach restrooms in Southern California and
should be ashamed of them,” Eggleston declared, and the reporter on the Brown Dirt Cowboy beat scribbled down, during a recent council session.
Eggleston egged on city staff to render a report aimed at upgrading and better maintaining tinkle shacks. Pricey demolition, reconstruction and reconfiguration would be required
to bring the defecation and urination stations up to snuff, claims that report, which warns taxpayers may have to pony up $1.7 million to $2.3 million.
“This is loaded with fabulous ideas,” Councilwoman Lori Donchak said of the report. “It's just a matter of where we get the money.”
Crap tax? Pee fees? Anyone? Anyone?
Actually, the city Parks and Recreation Commission, which will make recommendations to the City Council, may suggest coin-operated
toilets to offset costs and deter bums from turning public restrooms into
private beachfront housing. If that becomes a reality, perhaps the city's engineers can design a way to
hold coin purses in wet trunks and bikinis.
Eggleston, who is stepping down from the council after a 12-year run, has drawn a line in the beach sand, hoping to make better beach johns his crowning achievement. It's only a matter of time before we discover if he succeeded or if the battle for better loos becomes the Eggman's Waterloo.
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.