December 12, 2011 | 3:25pm
They once sat firm, but now they sag. With every move, they swing a little from side to side. You've tried to hide them, but they're just . . . out there.
At last, something can be done.
Enter the lobe job, otherwise known as earlobe rejuvenation. Yes, earlobes.
Today, you don't need to be Evander Holyfield to get yours fixed. Apparently, according to a press release titled "Lobe Jobs: 2012's New Boob Job," earlobes get floppier with age and by overwearing clunky, JLo-esque earrings.
"Gravity takes its toll on earlobes," stated Newport Beach plastic surgeon Semira Bayati, who performs lobe jobs. "They droop like chins and breasts do, and can make you look older."
Who knew? I thought they were only attached, detached or Spock-like.
Bayati can help patients get back their "natural ear shape" with either injectable fillers for deflated lobes or surgery for torn lobes. With the latter, the new ear will be at full strength in about four weeks post-surgery, though repiercing is not recommended.
Think I first need a doctor to remove my eyes from the back of my head.