Tuesday, November 15, 2011 at 10 a.m.
See that creep over there on the right? That's the mugshot of Lloyd Miller of Winter Park, Florida.
Last Friday, the 42-year-old was arrested at Disney's Epcot Center after he was spotted peeking over a bathroom stall at a woman and her small daughter.
Learn more about the incident, as well as five appropriate punishments for the perverted peeping Tom, after the jump.
The incident took place around midnight in a women's restroom near Spaceship Earth in Epcot. When Miller was spotted by the mother, he ran out of the bathroom and headed for the park's exit, but he was quickly apprehended by Disney police.
Miller was charged with voyeurism, loitering/prowling, and trespass after warning. Additional charges of shattering childhood dreams and general douche-baggery are still pending.
Amazingly, this wanker had previously been banned from all Disney properties for "unidentified reasons." To be read: "something incredibly creepy."
Listed below are five appropriate punishments for the Disney peeping Tom.
5. Have him stand in for Tinker Bell
What could be more humiliating than squeezing this perv into a Tinker Bell outfit and then forcing him down a zip line as he glides above the crowd during the Magical Fireworks Spectacular? Okay, to be honest, a lot of things could be more humiliating, but this would be a good start. Especially if we made him to do it naked... and encouraged the crowd below to throw stuff up at him. Sharp stuff.
4. Force him to spend more than three hours at Disney's Hollywood Studios
Once he's ridden The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and Rock 'n' Roller Coaster there isn't a whole lot left. What's he gonna do, watch the American Idol Experience nine times in a row? That's the Disney equivalent of waterboarding. Or maybe he could check out Sounds Dangerous with Drew Carey, or take a long nap on Disney's longest ride ever, The Great Movie Ride. He'd be dead from boredom by the time they got to Singin' in the Rain.
3. Let him peek at the Queen of Hearts
Since this guy obviously has a thing for watching women excrete, why not duct tape him to the inside of a bathroom stall door and force him to stare at the six-foot-something, 200-plus pound guy who plays the Queen of Hearts as he takes a hearty dump. I guarantee he won't be peeking over any bathroom stall walls again any time soon. Or able to get an erection ever again.
2. Take away his FASTPASS privileges
No more walking right on the rides, jackass! You've lost your FASTPASS privileges for the rest of your life! You're gonna have to wait an hour and a half to ride anything in Fantasyland. What's that? You were hoping to skip the two-hour wait for Star Tours: The Adventures Continue? Too bad. You now have to wait in line for every attraction just like every other perv out there. Except for Captain Eo, of course. You should have no problem walking right on that one because, retro or not, it sucks.
1. Make him take a shower with Jerry Sandusky
Yeah... that'll pretty much ruin him for the rest of his life.