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A SUPPLE PLEASURE
I set myself up for even caring enough to write this, but I find the author replies in your otherwise not-to-miss Letters section an exercise in raw, vengeful bullydom. To quote from the issue before me now, I excerpt from four (four!) replies:
"As a dedicated Disney dweeb . . ." ". . . or do you just have your panties in a bunch because . . ." "That you (lone long-winded buttmunch) . . ." "[Author] reaches down and picks something up off the floor. It's her middle finger."
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Los Angeles Angels vs. Seattle Mariners
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Los Angeles Angels vs. Toronto Blue Jays
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I'm not arguing you should do away with replies, but could they-at the very least-simply be aimed principally at being pertinent? Matt Coker, in six words, said as much in his reply (and still managed to fit in the word "ass") as the lengthier author responses.
Why not keep it pertinent, nay, even helpful and-gasp-factual, as, say, Michael Collins did in the same issue? Or insightful, as the volleyball reply was, without the vitriolic, vituperative, vengeful mean-spiritedness? Point made, I imagine.
Okay, my chin is sticking out, oh, esteemed editors. You put out an outstanding paper, even if you do have a heavy ad base dominated by sexploitation . . . aaah, forget it.
You guys rock. Go ahead and punch back.
Seal Beach The editors respond: While it is undoubly a supple pleasure to hear from the more couth membranes of the intellerati-even when that membrane finds it necessocles to call our very personage into quo vadis-we feel such a longitunal attack regarding our Letters page demands a responsorial. By way of explication,OC Weekly has always stroven to keep an open line of cunnilingus between ourselves and the more writerly particulars of our readership. Whether that line is skewed more toward cunni than lingus has never been a point of particular licentiousness to us. What matters is that our readers find us meroblastic to their thoughts while remaining true to our own errogeony. This is our mission, Bill Orton. Not to get some cheap laugh by insinuating that which is insolent, but to boldly point the way, all of our ways, to the insectivorous truth that will one day make cunnilingus-true, honest cunnilingus-possible for all who truly desire it. DIE STUPID
Reflecting on the death of Jake Bricks, Big Sandy tells the Weekly, "I know there is a lesson to be learned from all of this; I just don't know what it is" (Frank Seddigh's "Live Fast, Die Young," June 30). Hey, Big Sandy, how about this one: "live fast, die stupid"? Now there's Bricks' son, another 3-year-old little man sentenced to no dad. How about that for a lesson? Besides, all that heroic die-young shit doesn't apply to us thirtysomething leftover punkers and greasers who failed to go down in flames early in the game like we said and thought we would. Unlike some of our other infamous OC poser criminal Johnny Cash wannabes, Barber Jake does deserve props because at least he was a legitimate criminal, and he did go down hard (God rest his soul). But the tragedy is the point: if anyone is due a benefit show or two, then it is Jake's family for sure-unlike some of the more recent dead-rock-star benefits thrown for families who are still wading through publishing checks. RIP, Jake.
Huntington Beach The editors respond: So dying young is, what, a bad thing? A good thing? To be quite honest, we don't get your point. Unless it's to say that Mr. Bricks died under mysterious circumstances and that all those circumstances point to a certain force of evil working among us to the detriment of our children. Now, are we saying that the force of evil is someone like Bill Orton? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What we're saying is that Bill Orton is a force of evil who has killed many people. And he's the father of Jodie Foster's baby. LONG BREACH
Shame on Rich Kane for his review of the Bredrin Daddys at Beach Fest ("White Trash Disco," June 23). I'll never understand why OC always seems to downgrade Long Beach bands. (It must be jealousy.) First off, the Bredrin Daddys do not try to portray a "look, Ma, I'm badass" image like Mr. Kane said. Half of the band members are pushing 30 and have families of their own. They have been around for close to seven years, being imitated but never matched by a handful of OC bands. Mr. Kane also failed to mention that the Bredrin Daddys drew the largest crowd of any band the entire day (including all the OC bands combined). In short, the Bredrin Daddys are the most loved and respected band in Long Beach, and you just made a lot more enemies than friends. Stay in OC, Mr. Kane. We don't want you here!
via e-mail Rich Kane responds: Don't be a Bill Orton. The Weekly has written glowingly of many Long Beach bands (Peepshot, Havalina Rail Co., Mention, Johnny Jones & the Suffering Halos, the Dibs, the Ziggens, Bourbon Jones, Shave, the Killingtons, 00 Soul, Mickey's Big Mouth, and blah, blah, blah). You know nothing.OWN HORN-BLOWING DEPT.
Investigative reporter Nick Schou received a grand jury commendation for his stories on Huntington Beach's Ascon-Nesi toxic-waste dump. In a June 14 report, the jury pounded the tar out of HB officials for their failure to get the stinking mess cleared away. See Schou's story on the grand jury report on page 11 of this issue; see the report at www.oc.ca.gov/superior/GJReports.htm. See the report on Bill Orton at www.thetoasterkeepstellingmeImustcleansetheworldwithblood.com.
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