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LOWERY SLAYS US. NO. REALLY. HE'S KILLING US RIGHT NOW. SEND HELP
So after thinking the whole Iron Chef article a bit behind as far as trends go, I was pleasantly humbled when I thoroughly enjoyed Steve Lowery's article "The Cutting Board is Sacred" (June 8). While reading it, I laughed out loud, making the other patrons at Wahoo's think I was a bit loony. I didn't care: the article was grade-A writing, very satisfying. I then flipped the page and read Script Doctor ("Creole Lady Hearing Aid")—and laughed again! And when I got to the end, I discovered this, too, was by Steve Lowery! No wonder it was so amusing!
BRAD ROBERTS FOR SUPERVISOR?! WE'RE THERE!
Re: Anthony Pignataro's "A Silva Foot in His Mouth" (June 15): County Supervisor Jim Silva is up for re-election on March 5, 2002. Scrape together enough money to print some yard signs, and you could run a crash-test dummy against him with a fair chance of winning.
MORE FROM PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT PARENTHOOD
Cornel Bonca's "An OC Weekly Encyclopedia For Future Fathers" was a cute article for Father's Day (June 15). As a child, I did my fair share of baby-sitting and playing with dolls. However, from my vague recollection, dolls that are put to bed stay there and do not ask you to read Goodnight Moonfor the 30th time when you are trying to read (please, oh, please) at least one page of the Sunday paper, and baby sitters get paid basically to raid other people's fridges and leave at 11 p.m. with cash in hand (and a good night's sleep to come). As a mother of two (22 months and 4 years) and friend to many other new and not-so-new mothers who bear the same deer-in-the-headlights look from time to time, I can say to all women not yet with children: you have absolutely no idea.
To the anonymous author of "Little Big Man" (Hey, You! June 1): I thoroughly enjoyed seeing 20 cents' worth of vinyl lettering work you into such frenzy. It must be extremely tough going through life with so little self-worth that the mere sight of someone in his Suburban (with stock suspension and tires) makes you feel like "lesser folk." It might be time to trade in the Yugo! The Suburban is not a transportation choice made to be trendy, but rather a work truck that gets an appropriate day's work. You remember work: it's the activity conservatives do so that you liberals can tax us mercilessly and spend our money on government programs that distribute our earnings to people who won't work.
I am proud to make the political statement that my bumper stickers express so succinctly. I see the liberal agenda giving more rights to a gnatcatcher than a landowner, showing more respect to an unemployed single parent than a hard-working traditional family, and making efforts to take guns out of the hands of law-abiding citizens while leaving them in the hands of criminals who are showed more compassion than their victims.
Finally, let me set you straight on several points. Neither I nor any other male in my family has ever donned an earring. I do have a weakness for high-end sunglasses and frequently wear a different pair daily. George W. Bush has displayed more wisdom in the first four months of his presidency than the Clinton/Gore team in the entire eight years prior. And even though Clinton's asinine energy and conservation policies have left us with rising gas prices, neither my truck nor my sports car travels one less mile because of $2-, $3- or even $4-per-gallon gas prices. I would like to point out that at 225 pounds, damn few men have called me derogatory names—and none have called me a baby to my face.
Bret C. Meacham
In an event posting for Sesame Street Live at the Orange County Performing Arts Center, your writer observed, "Parents, if you are looking for proof of Bert's evil ways, check out www.fractalcow.com/bert/bert.htm" (Calendar, June 15). The lewd and offensive nature of this site is clearly not consistent with the event it is being tied to and reflects quite poorly on your staff, your company and your management team.
TRAFFICKS IN COKER
I just happened to swing by the Weekly web page by accident when I discovered a most distressing development: the link to your always excellent A Clockwork Orange column, which used to immediately follow your On the Cover feature, has now fallen two full rungs, below Letters and Commie Girl. Sources tell me that in weeks when Jim Washburn's Lost in OC appears, A Clockwork Orange drops yet another level, which buries it somewhere around those weird-ass Chris Ziegler stories. How anyone can hide such a critically important column as A Clockwork Orange seems near criminal. Heck, going by mere alphabetical order—the accepted form everywhere else in the Free World—A Clockwork Orange would appear first! I trust that you will handle this matter with the utmost speed and diligence.
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