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OUR MISS S.
I cannot believe that someone as vile and nasty as Commie Girl is allowed, by what appears on the surface as a "progressive" weekly, to spout her narcissistic and delusional ranting. It is garbage like this that continues to help conservatives in trouncing their progressive opponents at the polls.
Dear Rebecca, just read your recent Commie Girl column and couldn't help but notice we failed to get an invite to your orgy Friday night ["Silly Slappy," Jan. 28]. While I'm sure this was an oversight on your personal assistants' part, please keep our guest qualifications in mind when compiling your next party list. 1) We show up appropriately dressed within 15 minutes of the time specified in the invitation. 2) We always bring wine, booze and/or a thoughtful hostess gift. 3) We speak with people we don't even know! 4) When the orgy starts, we'll slip out quietly so no one has to see us naked. 5) We nearly always remember to get a hand-written thank-you note in the mail right away. See you soon.
The hiring of Bruce Nestande by the Irvine City Council is abhorrent [R. Scott Moxley's "All the Councilman's Men," Feb. 4]. This man is a chief lieutenant of George Argyros, the chief financier of the pro-El Toro Airport forces, and as such, he does the bidding of those who would put an international airport at El Toro. He and his cohorts have fought for years using every underhanded tool to get this done, going so far as to endorse LA in its attempt to take over El Toro and run it as an airport. This you can take to the bank: Nestande will feed back all vital information to the pro-El Toro Airport advocates in their continuing attempt to scuttle the Great Park and get an airport at El Toro back on line. The Irvine City Council may regret this hiring when it is too late to do anything but apologize.
Steve Lowery's stuff about Gwen Stefani's dress was brilliant, dead-on satire ["Diary of a Mad County," Jan. 21]. I think the highest compliment I can pay is that it was something I'd have expected to see on The Daily Show.
Mr. Ziegler, that shit was funny. Really funny. I mean the ass story ["Of Ass and Men," Feb. 4]. Y'know, 'cuz sometimes you're a bit convoluted to me, what with your mile-long leads and your "you-think-this-is-tedious-try-reading-Faulkner" hyphenation tendencies. But this, my friend, was genuine funny. Really funny. I liked it. A lot. It was funny. Really funny. So to you, Mr. Ziegler, I give what we over here in the hood fondly refer to as "massive props."
Steve Lowery, who is not Chris Ziegler, but has played him in print, responds: I'm so glad you liked "Chris"'s piece about the ass, but don't you find it the least bit disconcerting that the majority of "Chris"'s piece is about what a dick Chris is and how he's so sick that he CAN'T WRITE the piece and it falls to someone else-whose name rhymes with, oh, I don't know, Pteve Plowery-to write it? C'mon, do you really think Ziegler has such low self-esteem as to refer to himself as Baron Dickweed von Dickhoffen of Dickpenistan? Well, of course he does; that's one fucked-up puppy. Still, point is I WROTE THAT PIECE, but "somehow" things got "screwed up" in the editing and Chris' name appeared instead of mine. It was all a "big mistake." Yeah, whatever you need to sleep at night, Coker. I spent almost an hour - including bathroom breaks - crafting that piece, most of it on the Dickweed thing. Of course, when I told my wife about that line, she just stared at me with something approaching disgust. What's up with that?
It's all well and good that you did your recent cover story on the "Beautiful Losers" and RVCA show, but there was a glaring omission in your story [Theo Douglas' "Uglier Losers," Jan. 28]. Running concurrently with and, in actuality, as part of the "Losers" show is the Art Dump's "You Are Here" installation at the Orange Lounge in South Coast Plaza. Though biased, I believe this is where you'll find the true core of art that is being created within the womb of skateboarding.
I find it highly implausible that a daughter would not lock the bathroom door when taking a shower to prevent an abusive father from coming inside to molest her, especially one who knew what he would do if he got in [R. Scott Moxley's "Our Only Bond," Jan. 28]. If her motive wasn't to prevent his entry into the bathroom, then it must have been to encourage him to come in. I find it highly implausible that the touching took place as she describes because of the difference in their height and the fact that underpants have flies. I find it highly implausible that this could go on for almost 10 years and she did not report it sooner. I do find plausible that the girl is a man-hating lesbian, setting her father up, and he was dumb enough to get involved with her. And for that, he should get what he deserves. She was coached, most likely, by her dyke friends.
DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS
Confidential to: all eagle-eyes pochos. Yes, the Spanish word buey in its literal sense means "ox," not "ass." But if you called a gabacho an ox, they wouldn't take it as a curse-an insult, yes, but not a curse. So when our Mexican translated buey as a curse word into English, he switched "ox" with the barnyard animal Americans use to cuss at someone-an ass. Translation is an imperfect art, and our Mexican's Spanish skills are unfortunately as fluent as those of Cameron Diaz.
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