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MEXI-MALAN SEEKS A BETTER BURRITO
Ask a Mexican! is the highlight of my web reading. As a product of the cracked pavement and weed-choked vacant lots of Pico Rivera, it takes me back to my misspent youth. Living in Seattle, the only mexicanos I see are either serving up Tex-Mex burritos or sweeping up my daughter's classroom. The Northwest is still a little behind when it comes to diversity. Your column did provide me with a rude awakening when I learned that in the pecking order of Latinos, my combined Mexican-Guatemalan ancestry ranks me somewhere between a syphilitic Chihuahua and Hitler's missing left nut!
Pico Rivera Pocho
DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE GUATEMALAN AND THE CATHOLIC CHURCH?
I was just told by an acquaintance that Gustavo Arellano used to be an employee of the Diocese of Orange, but that he was fired. I have e-mailed him in the past about his rampant anti-Catholic rhetoric, and he never mentioned his association with the Diocese. He presents his articles as though he is an objective journalist—but it seems he has a personal vendetta against the church. Are you aware of his past association with the Diocese of Orange? Also, why is he allowed to make racist comments about Guatemalans? I volunteer with Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Orange County. My little sister is Guatemalan and she has enough going against her in life without racist journalists declaring her heritage inferior. I doubt it would fly if he was writing that blacks are inferior to Mexicans. Why is it okay to pick on Guatemalans? Just because he needs to feel superior to someone? Why is Arellano allowed to continue? Is it just about selling papers? Is the OC Weekly just a slanted version of Fox News—spreading propaganda and ignoring the truth? I am truly disgusted.
Gustavo Arellano responds: Man, do I wish my job were this easy. But my boss, Guillermo, a Guatemalan and total dickhead, insists on facts—not rumors I heard from an "acquaintance."
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THOSE MEAN, MEAN MEXICANS!
A reader asked the Mexican why Mexicans are always so damn happy [Ask a Mexican!, June 30]. I used to wonder the same thing when I first arrived here from Wisconsin at the age of 19. I was always very gullible, naive, trusting and believed in the goodness of people; I also did not know Spanish. It took many, many years before I realized that the reason they are always laughing is because they are making fun of others—including their own. Disillusioned and disgusted.
GWEN'S GOT NOTHIN' ON A 26x26
It is with great pleasure that I can call Merwin Barrientos [Gustavo Arellano's "The Night Merwin Barrientos Ate a 26x26 In-N-Out Hamburger," June 23] a former member of my fine classes at Anaheim High School. I do believe it was because of the fine guidance and leadership offered to him both by me and my fellow faculty members that he stepped into endeavors such as eating 26x26 burgers. Although I did have several members of No Doubt (I don't think much has become of them) in my classes for a short time period, none of them have ever reached the stature that he has reached with this burger triumph, not even that Gwen chick. Hoping Merwin didn't flash in the pan too early in his career—he may want his 15 minutes of fame in some other way. And have Merwin get his cholesterol checked—he shouldn't be eating that much red meat in one sitting.
I HEART BURGER BOY
Gustavo, I gotta tell ya, I lived in China for four years, and you were one of the only things that kept me going over there. I would wait patiently for every week to pass to read one of your hilarious and wonderful articles. I finally got inspired to write to you after reading about Merwin "Burger Boy" Barrientos. He seems like my kinda fella. I'm very happy for all of your success. I see your writings everywhere now. Gracias, Pocho!
MAN NEEDS A WHORE (IN BED)
In regards to Hot Ass' question [Ask a Mexican!, June 23], there's another very popular answer from my females relatives and friends: "We are very hot in bed because, in order to keep a good relationship with our men, we must be a good friend, a responsible spouse and the best whore in bed."
REBECCA NEEDS A GOOD SPANKING
In regards to J. Devroe's letter about Rebecca Schoenkopf's responsibilities to the community (and to Mr. Devroe himself) [Letters, July 7], I must say he makes several interesting points—none of which I could uncover. Sure, Rebecca has a platform to contribute something—and she does: she makes people laugh and points out interesting places/people in the community. As for Schoenkopf's potty mouth . . . well, maybe a good spanking is in order! Leave the ridiculous soapbox crap in Birch Beach. The rest of us see humor and a pleasant escape in her articles. Mr. Devroe asks the questions "What positive thing can I do today for myself and others?" and "What do you ask yourself when you wake up?" The answers are simple: 1) I take a nice shit in the morning, all the while thanking God I have enough two-ply for this monumental occasion. 2) I ask myself how the hell did this ass-clown Bush get elected, and what can I do to help eradicate this slime and his evil ilk from the world!
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