It's Bring Your Invisible Friend to Work Day!

Matt Bors

You were my boss, a Christian Fundamentalist. Not only do I not believe in any gods (the Christian one or others), but I also don’t want you to tell me about his plan for you. This is the workplace, you Christ-bot, and I report to you. You decide whether I get a raise or not, whether my family can have a better standard of living. In short, I have a vested interest in refraining from telling you that I think adults with invisible friends are stupid. Telling you your core beliefs are ridiculous and unfounded might just mean I don’t get a good raise this year. Keeping the Bible on your desk and quoting from it regularly does nothing but make me think you are an obvious imbecile who has never read any more than the “good parts.” So keep your superstitious nonsense to yourself at the workplace because not everyone shares your love of the invisible. Many people consider the invisible and nonexistent very similar.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at


Sponsor Content


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >