Inanimate Object Brawl
Last night was the scene of a gruesome three-party throwdown outside a popular Balboa Peninsula nightspot.
In what is believed to be a possible revenge-killing, a local area parking meter was tragically slain by an as-yet unidentified assailant.
Quoth the meter: Nevermore
It is as yet unknown whether the car and the meter have a history, though the meter is reported to have been a civil employee in charge of regulating motor vehicle activities. It was also the son of a respected local toll plaza. An innocent bystander was also injured in the violence; a neighborhood liquor store suffered mild injuries and several fractures, ranging from mild to serious. The scent of Schnapps was thick in the air, and yet the store was brave, not once emitting a shriek of alarm. Both store and car ought to recover after structural therapy. The same cannot be said for a certain parking meter.
Oh, the inhumanity...