Illegal Immigration: Follow the Bouncing Logic

When it comes to examining the root causes of illegal immigration, some Republicans work overtime to reconcile their hatred of "illegals" (cough—Mexicans!—cough-cough!) with the Bible—something that's not always easy to pull off given that the Bible preaches goodwill to those who are less fortunate.

Take the Oct. 29 opinion piece that appeared on the Republican Party of Orange County's website.

Rosie Avila starts off on a promising note, stating that the issue cannot be resolved until we “address some of its causes.” So, we should examine the socio-economic conditions on both sides of the border that fuel the practice of illegal immigration. Right?


In Avila's mind, the first culprit is the welfare system. She claims that it all began with Lyndon Johnson's “War on Poverty” which she believes “institutionalized poverty.”

Americans lost their motivation to work once they got a nice, fat welfare check without actually leaving home. The jobs that they left open were then sopped up by “our neighbors to the south,” and here we are today with the problem of illegal immigration. Ipso facto.

She brings the point home by turning to Thessalonians II 3:10: “He who does not work; shall not eat.”

Immigrants, she believes, are now also crowding the welfare system because “they are working at entry-level jobs that were never meant to support a family.”

So, Americans are lazy for getting on welfare and not working jobs which, she admits, are not meant to “support a family”? Eh?

According to Avila, another factor which contributes to illegal immigration is (dun dun dunnn....) abortion! But how is abortion responsible for illegal immigration one might ask? Well, in Avila's mind it goes something like this:

She estimates (and offers no sources ) that “since 1973 we have killed 45 million of our own children” through abortions; of which “12 million or even more would be in our workforce today” working those jobs that illegal immigrants take. You know, those jobs that in her own words were not meant to support a family.

In other words, if abortion were completely outlawed, we could have a bunch of all-American peasants at our disposal washing our cars, cleaning offices, or cutting our lawns, instead of illegal immigrants. Now, that would solve the problem.

Finally, Avila believes that because we “kicked God out of the public schools” in the 1960s, we are now being punished with illegal immigration. By taking prayer and the Ten Commandments out of public schools, we pissed off God, and according Avila's (nonexistent) sources, God said, “OK, you educate them!”

The result was that schools “fell into confusion” due to “failed bilingual education methods” and something that she calls “fuzzy new math” (whatever that means). Apparently Avila got some of those "fuzzy new logic" classes, as well.


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