Horror!

Two women wearing skimpy clothing invaded thousands of homes along Orange County's coast last month in what some residents claim was an “inappropriate” and “insulting” attempt to sell high-end fashion.

The police were never called.

Corona del Mar resident Frank Chlarson reported that his family was attacked by the oddly silent Gucci sales team just after he opened the October issue of Coast magazine. The assailants used “explicitly sexual” tactics on him and had no regard for neighborhood youngsters who might have witnessed the crime spree, according to an outraged Chlarson.

“I am not a prude,” he said. “In fact, I am considered quite liberal.”

Chlarson refused to describe the sales tactics or specify any injuries he might have received as a result. Sadly, he did say that part of the “magic” of his life had been lost.

Orange County's Char and Bill Wachtel reported that they too were victimized. The Gucci sales team was “tasteless . . . offensive, suggestive and inappropriate,” remarked the Wachtels. They did not say how long the encounter lasted or who did what to whom, but they did say it left them distressed and disappointed. Their neighborhood—which they said had been a “pristine” area—deserved “freedom from visual contamination.”

Kathy E. Donovan of Balboa Island came face to face with the women and said she felt insulted and dismayed. Donovan noted that her biggest concern was that the Gucci chicks might someday return to her house. “I would rather my children not be exposed,” she said.

Costa Mesa's Jennifer MacMillan said the sales pitch intrigued her and that she “wasn't likely to forget it soon.” She provided only sketchy details.

“I have to say,” said MacMillan, that the Gucci representatives “worked pretty darn well, even if [they were] at the furthest end of convention.”

Jack Davis of Laguna Niguel said he thought the two saleswomen had been checking each other for breast lumps when he saw them. But Davis wanted us to know that he was not ready for “this sort of thing.”

The misconduct apparently extended north. Janet Salter of Beverly Hills said she was astonished that one of the Gucci women had dared to touch the other's torso in public. Though it is believed the women did not speak or move, Salter claimed they had tried to tell her “lesbians with money are truly welcomed to shop at Gucci.” She said Gucci should be scolded and that she is worried about what she sees as declining culture.

Ironically, an equally explicit male/female sales team for Alex Sebastian clothing showed up unannounced at thousands of Orange County doorsteps in January. The couple clearly wanted everyone—Granny and the kids included—to see their very public sexual foreplay. Not a single person complained.

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